Friday, September 2, 2011

I GOT NOTHIN'

There are millions of quips, japes and jests that I could insert here but since 99.9999999999% of them are obscene, discretion is the better part of valor and all that.  I guess I could say something about how THOSE COLORS CLASH LIKE A SON OF A...get a grip, Johnson!!  Deep breaths, buddy!!  Now do you see what running a site like this can do to a person?

UPDATE: Several commenters have stated that this photograph is apparently a fake.  So I guess it says something about the awful state of vestments these days that my reaction to that news is that I would find such a disgraceful ensemble to be totally plausible.

27 comments:

wyclif said...

Synod must have been off the chain this year.

Deacon Frank said...

It's a fake. In the original photo, the Bishop (Michael Bird of the Anglican Church in Canada) is wearing a white mitre.

Doodler said...

It's obviously a fake - turn it upside down. Not even a good fake!

discourse said...

Seems like more of a truism than a fake to me.

susan s. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
susan s. said...

That can't be a mitre! It's a pair of panties, and if you turned it around you might even find out the day of the week it's intended to be worn.

But thanks for the laugh!

Nickie Goomba said...

I got nuttin'.

Except sadness.

X said...

Ditto what Susan said. It's a fake. Trust me. I've made a few professional fakes in my time.

Andy said...

The long lost Mitre of the Lower Slobvolian Patriarch, St. Knestorius of the Knickers.

We sorted this one in a discussion group over in the facebook universe. Beneath this photoshoppery, there lies an understated green Mitre accented in white.

Andy said...

Still, this one can't top the Oven Mitt that shall not be named...

Kelso said...

At first I thought he'd been rooting around in Katie's Mitre Closet, but on closer inspection I agree it's a faked pic.

Fr. Caleb said...

Forget about granny's Depends on the wrong end (why would anybody do this?), that chasuble looks about as cheesy and chintzy as they come.

Aelred said...

The original, un-diapered, photo can be found here: http://www.stdandp.com/photos/862_215

Now I'm starting to wonder what other photos here have been faked.

Fr. Caleb said...

The source seems to be David ?'s blog, Anglican Samizat dedicated to ridiculing religion in general rather than just its vestments in particular. Other photoshopped pictures of Bishop Bird show the bishop in sunglasses or with $$ on his miter. Don't know what David has against +Bird but it may be connected with ANIC, whatever splinter group that may be.

Anonymous said...

I thought it was a really bad tea cosy. It iis consoling that it is a fake. Otherwise my comment would be, Oh! CENSORED.

Fr. Mike Forbes
Rochester, MN

Anonymous said...

Just lookedat the original. Not muchetter. Reminds me of granny's on basket. Mike_ri

Mark said...

I guess the heading for this post is correct in ways none of us would have imagined: "I Got Nothin'" (so I'll just make something up!).

It's hard to imagine a blog about vestments that have 'jumped the shark' would jump the shark itself but it looks like that is what's happened.

Anonymous said...

Chris, Could you start posting sources w future postings? Pleeeeze? Tnx, Bill

BerlinerinPoet said...

I'm wondering how they stayed up so well? Also, I find myself simultaneously saddened and relieved that this is a fake.

Sibyl said...

Sorry, but I thought the guy in the mitre was a San Francisco Episcopal Bishop.

It's embarrassing when you get took by a photoshop prank...I'm feeling your pain.

Here, hope this helps:

A Bright Chausable:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_2ogB_Df2ARk/SzLGSP3flXI/AAAAAAAABP4/Gi0-Pxi5_sU/s400/bad+vestments.jpg

and Striped Stole

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_2ogB_Df2ARk/SzLG6QhsVkI/AAAAAAAABQg/xpr9Wr7Gxjw/s1600-h/what+the.jpg

and Womyn vestments

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_2ogB_Df2ARk/SyBymc8oAnI/AAAAAAAABO4/Fp4Mq14rEuc/s1600-h/swedish+bishops.jpg

a vegetable nativity:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_2ogB_Df2ARk/Sy2ZzFDLgFI/AAAAAAAABPo/Dy652qIH1zE/s1600-h/jesus-nativity-car_1546544c.jpg

All from www.actsoftheapostasy.blogspot.com

+tmb said...

The blog Anglican Samizat where this originally appeared is a very nasty piece of goods, the author connected with a 'Network' parish that has left the diocese of Niagara. The bishop has suffered much personal harassment from them. Fakes have no place on 'bad vestments'

C. Wingate said...

The real mitre isn't exactly a winner either; it makes the bishop look somewhat like Belloc getting ready to open the ark.

Bishop Terry Brown said...

As a matter of policy, I do not think you should put fake photos on Bad Vestments. Once you discover they are fake, you should remove them. Otherwise, the site will become the focus of much hatred as people send in fake photos of the clerics they despise. And you will subject people to ridicule who do not deserve it, such as the Bishop of Niagara.

rayanselmo said...

(Voice of the truck driver in Raising Arizona): "Son, yew got a panty on yer head."

And yeah, the fact that this fake photo doesn't look as ludicrous as some of the real ones says something.

David said...

As someone noted above, the image is my creation.

I am convinced, though, that although the image is a concoction, the truth of its underlying metaphor more than compensates for the apparent falseness revealed by a shallow literalistic interpretation.

Had I known it would be subject to such scrutiny, I would have spent more time on it.

Kate said...

@tmb Not as much as the ANiC parishes have suffered at the hands of Bishop Bird, although I grant you that this pic is a bit over the top.

David said...

Kate,
I grant you that this pic is a bit over the top.

Only a bit? I will redouble my efforts.