Tuesday, December 20, 2011

AWN-SAHM-BLEH

Remember those really tacky matching sweaters your mom forced you and your siblings to wear for the family Christmas card photo that one year?  Well, they called just now and they wanted you to know how sorry they are.

Monday, November 7, 2011

AND YOUR LITTLE DOG TOO!!

This picture was taken during an ordination at a San Francisco Lutheran church.  This one, to be precise.  Aside from that, I don't really know what to say about it.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

PAGANIANITY

To connoisseurs of ecclesiastical goofballism like me, one name stands head and shoulders above the rest and believe it or not, that name is not connected with the Episcopal Church. It is a San Francisco Evangelical Lutheran Church in America congregation officially called Ebenezer although, as you can see by the link, it has begun to refer to itself as herchurch.

Why does herchurch exist? According to the web site:

The Christian-Lutheran Feminist/Womanist/Mujerista Movements exist to celebrate the feminine persona of God/dess and dimensions of the sacred as expressed in faith, worship, learning, mutual care, and acts of justice.

How do they do that? One of the ways is illustrated by that picture, something you can order through their web site if you've decided that Christianity just isn't cutting it for you anymore. That's what those folks call a Goddess rosary.

Thanks to David Fischler.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

I'M GOING TO DATE MYSELF BUT...

Remember those McDonald's Hamburger commericials from the 1980's and all those delightful running characters they had?  There was Ronald McDonald, of course, the Hamburglar, Mayor McCheese, Grimace, Officer Big Mac and all the rest.  But not too many people remember this rather obscure McDonaldland character.

The Hambishop.

NOW THERE'S SOMETHING YOU DON'T SEE EVERY DAY, CHAUNCEY

What's that, Edgar?  A liturgical vestment inspired by Angry Birds.

CHURCH OF ENGLAND

Why do you ask?

Friday, September 9, 2011

WHAT IS THIS?

(1) Something purchased at a tacky Italian tourist shop that specializes in relieving Americans of excess money.

(2) The new uniforms of the Turin Cathedral Tigers slow-pitch softball team.

(3) An actual chasuble that you can buy if you want to.

(4) A really bad idea.

Friday, September 2, 2011

I GOT NOTHIN'

There are millions of quips, japes and jests that I could insert here but since 99.9999999999% of them are obscene, discretion is the better part of valor and all that.  I guess I could say something about how THOSE COLORS CLASH LIKE A SON OF A...get a grip, Johnson!!  Deep breaths, buddy!!  Now do you see what running a site like this can do to a person?

UPDATE: Several commenters have stated that this photograph is apparently a fake.  So I guess it says something about the awful state of vestments these days that my reaction to that news is that I would find such a disgraceful ensemble to be totally plausible.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

REALLY USEFUL

As far as Christian worship is concerned, I lean more to the anti-vestment side of things.  Nevertheless, I have to admire the fact that you can purchase a liturgical vestment for just about any situation a Christian minister might encounter.  When you want to emphasize a Biblical theme.  When you're celebrating a particular feast day.  When the roof leaks.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

QUESTION

This picture comes from something called the Young Feminist Network, part of the Women's Ordination Conference, a group dedicated to advancing the cause of women's ordination in the Roman Catholic Church.

I have no interest in debating the theological merits of that topic and I'd appreciate it if none of you did either.  I'd just like to know something.

What is up with leftists and giant papier-mâché puppets of doom?

You see them all the time in secular leftist demonstrations and I sort of understand using them there.  Well, no, actually, I don't.  If you want to convince me to back your cause, looking as stupid as you possibly can is no way to go about it.

But I really don't understand using them in church.  Do these people seriously believe that people like me are going to take one look at ridiculous displays like this and think, "Jeepers, are these people spiritual!!  Maybe they're right and I'm wrong."

Because that's not the message I'm picking up, yo.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

ECUMENISM

Give it up for a giant papier-mâché Roman Catholic puppet of doom.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

THREE WORDS, BISHOP

Dial it down.

Friday, June 17, 2011

MY WORK HERE IS DONE

I used to think that the Episcopalians had retired the trophy as far as bad vestments, church decorations and serious worship are concerned.  But via the Bovina Bloviator comes word of a Austrian Roman Catholic "mass" so unbelievably awful that...well let's just say that the Confederate flag looked embarrassed to be there.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

VESTMENTS THAT MAKE YOU SAY, "REALLY?"

Chasubles with parrots on them.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

SET PHASERS TO KILL

Give it up for the Klingon monstrance.

I GOT NUTHIN'

Seriously.  I don't have a clue what's going on here.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

COMEBACK

Katharine Jefferts Schori regains first place.  Knew you had it in you, Presiding Bishop!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

CHASUBLE?

Or shower curtain?

UPDATE: Actually, this kind of makes sense if, as indicated in the post just below this one, we're going to start using bath mats as frontals.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

LAVENDER AND YELLOW THING FOR SALE

Possibly a Rothko.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

FORGET ANGRY BIRDS

Give it up for Angry Crosses.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

BALLGAME, THANKS FOR PLAYING

My correspondent informs me that this was worn on Easter morning.  I think this site may have just reached the end of its useful life.

Monday, April 25, 2011

DAISY, DAISY

Give me your answer don't.

FLY AWAY

In environmental news, it looks to be an outstanding year for butterflies.

FULLY INVOLVED

Quick review.  While flames are a perfectly acceptable design concept for liturgical vestments, it's probably best not to have them coming from that direction.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

THAT'S WEIRD

I'm suddenly nostalgic for my old slot car set and I can't figure out why.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

REALLY, GENE? REALLY?

Come on, Bishop, you're better than this.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

NO, NON, NEIN, 否, いいえ, 한국어, Αριθ, НЕТ

My correspondent informs me that this stole celebrates women in sports.  Now that's a fine thing to celebrate, just not during Christian worship.  Ever.  Under any circumstances.  Period.  End of discussion.  Got me?!!

Monday, February 14, 2011

FOR THAT SPECIAL CHILDREN'S SERVICE

Because kids just LOVE being talked down to.

OH THE HUMANITY!!

When Rothkos go horribly wrong.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

THEMES TO AVOID

1970's shower curtains.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Saturday, February 5, 2011

HOW ARE THE MIGHTY FALLEN

Minnesota Episcopal Bishop Brian Prior puts Katharine Jefferts Schori's title in SERIOUS jeopardy.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

HEY KIDS!! WHAT TIME IS IT?!!

It's time for another exciting round of everybody's favorite game, "Bishop?  Or Star Trek Character?"

Friday, January 7, 2011

YOU KNOW HOW SOME PEOPLE ARE SCARED OF CLOWNS?

I get that.  Anglican archbishops terrify me.

Monday, January 3, 2011

IT'S NOT A GOOD SIGN WHEN...

...your geek friend can instantly tell you the obscure graphic novel he saw this in.