Tuesday, August 31, 2010

FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE

I know, I know, this isn't a vestment.  But I run the place so I get to break the rules once in a while.  And since it is as horrible an example of ecclesiastical bad taste as I've ever seen since, well, the post just below this one, I couldn't pass this up.

Anyone care to hazard a guess as to what this is?

(1) An example of that 1970's trend that was going to revolutionize the entire Christian religion.  The roller-disco chapel.

(2) What the Ordained BarbieTM Church Set looks like(only $49.95).

(3) Matthew Fox's rumpus room.

(4) The place where the first openly-homosexual bishop in the Episcopal Church was to be consecrated until Gene Robinson had the good taste to take one look at it and forcefully tell Presiding Bishop Frank Griswold, "Are you people insane?!  Frank, I refuse to be photographed in front of that monstrosity, never mind consecrated there!"

(5) The sanctuary where the ceremony of the beatification of John Newman will be performed in Britain.

Answer here.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

BACK TO THE FUTURE

I realize that I'm going to date myself but here goes:

(1) Nice to see Bishop Q*Bert back in town again.

(2) You won one of these if you made it through four levels of Pole Position.

(3) Bald Bull wore this in Punch-Out!!  If you hit him anywhere on it, he was knocked out instantly.  Saved me more than a few times, let me tell you.

(4) When you saw this in Xevious and destroyed the pink ghost, you automatically moved to the next level and receieved an extra life.

(5) Any time a frog crossed this in Frogger, he couldn't be harmed.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

LET'S SEE, HOW CAN I PUT THIS?

No, nr, non, nein, não, nuh-uh, squat, jack squat, less than jack squat, bupkis, ain’t happening, no way Jose, cold day in hell, take another run at it, come back when you’re serious, you have got to be effing KIDDING me, man, etc.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

RECYCYLING

Huh.  I wondered what happened to my old shower curtain.

MAXIM

If you ever see your minister walk into church dressed like this, it is not only your right to get up and leave, it is your Christian duty.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

WHERE A KID CAN BE A KID.

My correspondent informs me that the wearer of this is Catholic.  Leaving aside from the tie-dyeing and the horrible color combination, the first thing that popped into my head when I saw this was Chuck E. Cheese and how if you roll the ball into that top hole, you win 50 tickets.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

FINALLY THOUGHT OF ONE!!

Ladies and gentlemen!!  Give it up for the world's first Swiss Army bishop!!

[Yeah, I get it.  Let's see.  Does her crozier come with a fold-out saw, pair of scissors, can opener, bottle opener, file, Philips screwdriver, reamer, pliers and corkscrew?  Does it have little slots for the tweezers and the toothpick?  Really, Chris?  You came all the way back here to make that joke? - Ed.]

Okay, so maybe it wasn't that great.

[It wasn't even a little bit great - Ed.]

Hey, Albert Pujols hits doubles sometimes.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

BISHOP?

Or Star Trek character?

Sunday, August 1, 2010

WARNING

The person who sent me this informs me that these vestments were worn during a funeral at New York's Riverside Church.  Riverside's been a hotbed of goofball pseudo-Christian liberalism for some time so I guess this isn't that much of surprise.

But mark this down.  Wear something like this during my funeral and I'll either haunt you, if that's possible, or give you really intense nightmares for the rest of your days on this plane of existence.

Are we clear?  Good.