Tuesday, November 9, 2010

FRONTAL?

Or Jackson Pollock's bath mat?

39 comments:

Beneath the Firmament said...

Donated by Helen Keller.

Free Range Anglican said...

Looks like someone needs to get the cathedral cat declawed.

Matt Link said...

Anybody know what the dead flowers are for?

Jeb said...

Do they expect our Heavenly Father to put it on His heavenly refrigerator or something?

Priscilla said...

I think that is the rug I didn't buy at Ikea.

FJH 3rd said...

It looks, to me, like one of those giant Dagwood deli sandwiches!

Elephantschild said...

I see the no-good college-aged son of the congregational president showed up for service drunk again - this time, instead of just falling down in the aisle, he puked right on altar.

Chris said...

It does take something quite unusual to make ++KJS's cope fade into the background...

On the plus side, the dalmatics aren't bad.

midwestnorwegian said...

The pro-abortion "church" displays one.

Anonymous said...

The "reformation" has done wonders. Just sick.

Anonymous said...

A geologic cross section of the terrain under the church building? No? I vote for getting claw covers for the vestry cat, then.
LittleRed1

Paul Woodrum said...

The frontal is quite a fascinating piece of art though the little side draperies are a puzzlement.

By contrast, it's the dull, pedestrian catalog vestments worn by the officiants that truly give offense.

Nickie Goomba said...

38 lb. of frontal in a 20 lb. sack.

John V said...

And then there's the Almy Red Coronation fabric Altar Pillow @ $197 (2010-2011 Catalog, p. 141), on which rests what looks to be a looseleaf binder, maybe 5 or 6 bucks at Office Depot.

Judy said...

Jackson Pollock is a great analogy :-)

Anonymous said...

one might say that it's a full on frontal assault

TLF+ said...

Aw, crap, Anon - I was coming on to type "frontal assault." Or some riff on "full frontal nudity" but I can't figure out anything witty enough.

This thread has the funniest bunch of comments I've read in a long time. Every one of 'em made me laugh! Jeb's "heavenly Father's refrigerator" is my fave, I think.

priest's wife said...

prayers, prayers, prayers

Mark said...

Frontal? More like "Affront"-al if you ask me.

Amy said...

Hm. I have one of those on the floor by my kitchen sink...

Andy said...

Looks like the Altar Guild is now using a Troybuilt to maintain the furnishings.

Anonymous said...

Looks like that fellow in the middle is officiating at a wine bar, with all those flagons.
I hope everyone had a wild time, but Katie doesn't look real happy. Perhaps she thought she should be in the middle.

Anonymous said...

It looks like something calling for a pathologist for diagnostic purposes.

.....CLIFFORD said...

"Ladies and Gentlemen, if you turn your attention to The Episcopal Church's 'Responding to the Windsor Report Flow Chart' here in front..."

Galletta said...

Let's see. It says here we add a jigger of....

Gail F said...

The weirdest thing is that it's sort of a curtain, with a pole slipped through a sleeve on the back. The pole seems to be hung from nails or hooks under a wooden altar. I used to work at a puppet show and that is the kind of stage we would take to kids' parties! Not the altar part, of course.

Anonymous said...

If you remove the "frontal" the pillow and the women it might not look too bad.

Cantor Nikolaos said...

If I wanted to MOCK the Sacred Liturgy, this is exactly what I'd do!

How long will these people be allowed to mock God?

Anonymous said...

Looks like a slab of bacon to me. Maybe they got sucked in by the latest Gaga trend?

Anonymous said...

According to the website of the diocese whose annual convention liturgy is being pictured here,
"The ICC banquet hall was transformed by a glowing wooden altar and cross built for the occasion and decorated with long streamers and a shimmering prayer frontal woven as we conducted the business of convention with colorful cloth strips on which delegates and visitors had written their own prayers."

Anonymous said...

Man, I keep coming back to this site to see what's new and the cat sick frontal is still up! I would hate to go to a liturgy at that church feeling a little squeamish.

Et Expecto said...

I wonder why they store all those old Persian rugs under the altar!

FrKnowsBest said...

To midwestnorwegian: If I knew who you were, I would undertake to sue you for libel on behalf of the church. TEC has repeatedly opposed abortion in its General Convention resolutions, while taking a tolerant pastoral stance in reconciling those who, sadly, have made recourse to that heinous crime against life.

That being said, this one takes the cake. Obviously the frontal that belongs to the "Mold, Mildew and Fungus" set.

Alexi said...

It looks like someone's shower curtain.

Anthony S. "Tony" Layne said...

Y'know, I never thought I'd see my old grade school nap rug again ....

Douglas Bienert said...

"The frontal is quite a fascinating piece of art though the little side draperies are a puzzlement."

Oh, its a fascinating piece alright!

Diego said...

It's such a shame... i really like bishop Jefferts-Schori. Perhaps I should offer my services as her chaplain/MC. Lovely lady; 98% of the times gastly vestments!

Anonymous said...

"Woven from strips of cloth on which prayers had been written"

Evidently, the prayer, "Please, God, let this be the ugliest altar ever!" won.

Caption: "[hic!] I know I said I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy, but now I have both! [hic!]"

pewpewaliens said...

what's up with all the wine BTW? That's more than one can pp?