I CANNOT BE ANY MORE SERIOUS!!

Stop it.  Stop it RIGHT NOW!!

Oh, and  here are four words I'd never better see adjacent to each other ever again.  Ministry of the puppets.

Props to Elle.

THEMES TO AVOID

Stained glass.

MORE GIANT PAPIER-MÂCHÉ CALVINIST PUPPETS OF DOOM

This sighting took place at the First Congregational Church here in my home town of Webster Groves, Missouri, also known as the Paris of St. Louis County, and it...no, I can't do it.  I'm sorry.  I have to say something here.

WHAT THE HELL IS THE DEAL WITH GIANT PUPPETS DURING CHRISTIAN WORSHIP?!!

The Catholics have employed them, the Episcopalians have employed them, the Presbyterians have employed them, somebody sent me a Evangelican Lutheran Church in America link the other day and now we have the United Church of Christ.  We're pretty much across the spectrum here.  So I just have one question

For crying out loud, what in the world are you trying to accomplish?!!  Well, we want to make worship more meaningful.  Really?  The worship of the Creator of the entire universe and the Redeemer of your soul isn't meaningful enough for you?

Even though I'm a Protestant, there's a lot to be said for Eucharistic Adoration.  It's much better to sit there, keep your mouth shut and know that He is God rather than go through any ceremony in which giant puppets are in any way involved.

End of rant.  Sorry you had to see that.

GIANT PAPIER-MÂCHÉ CALVINIST PUPPETS OF DOOM

Roman Catholics?  I don't want to alarm you but one of your few claims to liturgical atrocity fame has recently been seriously challenged by the Presbyterians.

PERFECT STORM

As a matter of fact, these are Episcopalians.  What gave it away?

THIS IS A MOBILE PHONE...

...held by a man with absolutely no aesthetic sense.

THINGS THAT ARE NOT SINS

Clashing with the ecclesiastical décor.

A TRIBUTE TO CHROMIUM

Because Maine Episcopal Bishop Stephen Lane is rocking green flames.  Chromium burns green.  Get it?  It's funny.  Okay, maybe not so much.

WE HAVE A WINNER!!

The 2009-2010 Bad Vestments Worst Vestment of the Year competition is over and the winner, going away, is Mold, Mildew and Fungus.  Congratulations!!

ROCK CLIMBING, JOEL*

A guy sent me this several months back.  After thinking long and hard about some form of appropriate snark, the best that I could come up with was this.  Butterflies, for crying out loud.  The guy's got butterflies on his chasuble.

*Mystery Science Theater 3000 reference

TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING

Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the worlds first walking iconostasis.