Saturday, April 17, 2010

BAD VESTMENTS 101

People often ask me, "Conrad?  What's the easiest way to tell when a liturgical vestment is really bad?"  Well, take this picture of New York Suffragan Bishop Catherine Roskam.  That's her on the right.

If you think that this picture desperately needs a guy in a top hat and a red coat somewhere nearby and if that circus song started running through your head(you know, the one that goes DOOT DOOT DOODLE-OODLE OOT-DOOT DO DO, DOOT DOOT DOODLE-OODLE OOT-DOOT DO DO), then you're looking at a genuinely awful liturgical garment.

Believe it or not, the above is actually not Catherine Roskam's most unintentionally embarrassing moment.  This is:

"My sistas and brothas, all my homies and peeps, stay up -- keep your head up, holla back, and go forth and tell like it is." With this proclamation, Bishop Suffragan Cathy Roskam of New York sent people on their way at the Bronx's third Hip Hop Mass, held Friday, July 2 at Trinity Church of Morrisania.

Word.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

For the record, the circus song is titled "March of the Gladiators". And yes, I hear it loud on clear on calliope when I see Cathy's picture.

There are small churches in death throes up and down the Hudson River Valley. Cathy was to be the suffragan who oversaw them. Instead she's busied herself with Hip Hop Masses (note to C.R.: You're white and a senior citizen), showing up at Gay Pride Parades (you're not gay), and putting on puppet shows at the Cathedral.

We lay down our harps and weep until her retirement.

Monika said...

A highly visible example of why none of my tithes are sent to anything that might pass them on to the diocese. And what happened to Cathy's old copes? Did they wear out?

Ex aedibus said...

What is it with the quasi-monastic albs? Or as a friend of mine likes to call them, the hooded mumu albs. I don't think that anybody here belongs to the Order of Saint Benedict. Yes, we like ample sleeves. Sleeves which can easily be caught on fire or lead to other unsightly liturgical accidents.

Steve Martin said...

It's enough to make one want to become a Hindu.

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Anonymous said...

laughing and crying.

Ex aedibus said...

It's a sad, sad day when there's a vestment that makes Schori's hideous purplish ensemble look tasteful.

As for the hip hop liturgy, is there anything more pathetic than an ageing white woman trying to be young, black, and hip? Someone really ought to twit her with her own pastoral staff.

Anonymous said...

Sic transit whatever....

Anonymous said...

I think this blog is both creative and hands-down funny. The only comment I have is that the Hip Hop Mass was quite successful in reaching out to a demographic (young, African-American children) who were not being ministered to.
The Church provided them safety, meaning and purpose. For Catherine Roskam to try to communicate with a particular group in their venacular is quite historically consistent with the incarnational and contextual theology of Anglicanism. That is to say God's church is quite large to house a diversity of liturgical styles, not just the cultural mileiu of the affluent Anglo class. Your comments I'm sure are intended in good fun.

Geoff said...

But can we take a moment to acknowledge the nattily dressed (and female!) episcopal ordinand? An auspicious portent, I think.

IggyAntiochus said...

I am thinking we can get her the rainbow wig and she can hold up the John 3:16 sign in the endzone at the next Super Bowl.

Invictus_88 said...

Isn't this the one who accused African bishops of beating their wives?

Ah, sweet liberalism.