HOW MUCH IS THAT DOGGIE ON MY CROZIER?

The one that's there for reasons that I cannot even begin to understand.

JOHNSON'S GRAND UNIFIED THEORY OF INAPPROPRIATE LITURGICAL CLOTHING II

See below. I hate being right all the time. And no, I don't know what thing around his neck(under the stole) is.

JOHNSON'S GRAND UNIFIED THEORY OF INAPPROPRIATE LITURGICAL CLOTHING

All ugly, garish, pretentious or otherwise unacceptable liturgical vestments will eventually coalesce into one single and magisterially awful set of vestments. There are unmistakable signs that this process has already begun to happen.

FLOWER POWER

I've seen this idea more than once. But I've never really understood the whole floral concept in vestment design. It's certainly not unattractive and I guess I get the Garden of Eden inspiration but to me, it just looks a little too...contrived. It's as if some vestment maker said, "Let's see, how shall I decorate these? I know. I'll cut strips from that old couch over there. We're throwing it out anyway."

ORRIS?

Are you saying that people like me don't make enough fun of the Episcopalians? Because if you rock an ensemble like this, you're just asking for jokes, Bishop.

KATHARINE JEFFERTS SCHORI GOES TO THE RENAISSANCE FESTIVAL!!

"I prithee, good sir. Wouldst thou like to purchase a leather mug for someone in thy family?"

THE OUTER LIMITS

There is nothing wrong with your computer. Do not attempt to adjust your monitor

"GRAY SKIES ARE GOING TO CLEAR UP,"

"Put on a happy face!"